Speaking out loud/ this have to be said
Das muss mal gesagt werden
The book “Make you happy” was in my Box today. My best friend sent it me directly from England to Germany.
To be honest: I fight this battle since my childhood. Not the whole time but often enough to know the struggle.
I have depression. And I truly know it. Because I feel dizzy and sleepy but without coming to a rest. I can’t allow myself to rest. I have to. I know. But I have a job with just a few hours per week. I own less money but enough to pay the Kindergarten.
And forget about the writing. I suck.
I feel guilty when I buy myself something. Or when I make a break. I often go to bed late at night and sleep about four or five hours.
I never go to a hairdresser. I cut my hair on my own. Just one time during the last 12 years: when I was pregnant I couldn’t do this on my own.
I have a beautiful son, good husband. But sometimes I need to know that I’m good enough to be loved. You know?
So: always keep fighting is like a theme.
I have pain. Since my childhood. I even don’t have my uterus anymore.
Anyway: never stop believing!
We are unique. Everyone is unique and amazing.
I will read the book.
I will make more yoga.
I don’t want to be sad anymore. Need to be happy for my son.
If you have similar problems: I know how you feel. You are not alone. Need help? Tell someone the truth. Speak it out. It’s okay to be sad but don’t hide yourself. Don’t cut yourself. The scarf may vanish but the pain will last forever.